Helping Your Toddler Settle Into Daycare

Days one through three are often fine, sometimes surprisingly so, because everything is new and interesting. The harder stretch tends to be the second week, when your child understands this is the new normal. That is not a sign something is wrong. It is a sign they have figured out the routine, which is exactly what you want.

By the end of week two or three, most toddlers walk in, find their favorite spot, and barely look back. Some take a little longer, and that is fine too.

Toddlers do best with a goodbye that is warm, short, and the same every day. Pick a simple ritual: a hug, a kiss on each hand, a wave at the window. Say that you are leaving and when you will be back, in words they understand, like "after nap."

Then go. Lingering, or sneaking out while they are distracted, both tend to make the next day harder. A calm, confident goodbye tells your child that this is a safe place and you trust the people here.

A little preparation at home goes a long way.

• Talk about daycare in a happy, matter-of-fact way in the days before. Name the teacher if you know it.
• Keep bedtime steady. Tired toddlers have a much harder time with transitions.
• Let your child bring one comfort item for nap time, if your center allows it.
• Build in a few extra minutes in the morning so drop-off is not rushed.

Watch for the small signs: your child talks about a friend or a teacher by name, they have a favorite activity, they stop crying within a few minutes of your leaving, and they are eating and napping normally. At Mountainside, you will also see it in the daily photos and updates on the myKidzDay app. There is nothing quite like getting a picture of your child laughing at 9:30 AM when you were worried at 8:00.

If drop-offs are still very hard after three or four weeks, or if your child seems withdrawn at home, talk with the teacher. Together you can usually find the one small change, a different goodbye, an earlier nap, a familiar routine from home, that helps things click.